How old are those pictures?

So much disappoint.

For once, I think I'm speechless. I just don't even know where to begin.

You know coyote ugly, where you'd chew your arm off just to get away from someone? (*ahem* drunken one night stand) Well, if I had a saw handy, I would have gone all 127 Hours and made a break for it. 2 1/2 hours of boredom, annoyance, and full on poker face.

Bad way to start a date? Tell your date you picked a coffee shop so you wouldn't have to shell out money on dinner. Classy.

Want to make it worse? Talk about the tattoo you're going to get that involves Sasquatch because that's what all your friends call you. Oh man, I'm so hot right now, I can barely keep my skirt on. :gross:

Not only was I bored out of my damn mind, but I felt like a piece of meat, an insulted piece of meat at that. Yes, I know I have a microdermal on my chest. No, asking if I'll pull down my top so you can see it better isn't appropriate. Yes, I know I have a stutter. No, mimicking it isn't okay. Yes, I know I should have left the date earlier. No, I didn't, because I would have felt bad. Stupid guilt, I need to learn how to tame that.

When you ask if what I'm wearing is typical for me (what's that supposed to mean anyway?) and I respond yes (because I'm attempting to be more fashionable in my daily life), responding sarcastically that you're so happy I made an effort is just downright rude. I'm wearing a tank top, cute jacket, skirt, and heels...what the fuck more do you want?

When you keep poking my hand, trying to get me to say something 'non p-c' and I pull my hand away, read the sign. It means stop touching me, not reach further across the table.  Keep your monkey arms to yourself, dammit.

When we leave and you tell me you want to see me again, and I just stare at you, that doesn't mean to make a stalking joke about how you'll track me down. In fact, that's probably the last thing you should do. Good things my apartment has double locked doors.

I'm a patient person. I cut people lots of slack. Hell, even the hipster got a second date. This guy? I'll be screening his calls.