Oi. So much confusion right now.
Confession: I deleted my dating accounts. At the end of the day, I couldn’t take it. I felt like an actress or singer, going to auditions and facing constant rejection. I mean, I met some great people along the way, but there was a point where I just started thinking “What’s the point?” Could I take another set of unanswered texts? Probably not.
I suppose some kind of motivational speaker would tell me to date like I’ve never been hurt before, but how much can one person give, and consistently get rejected, before they stop giving so much? I don’t want to be cold, I don’t want to be callous, but I don’t want to accumulate more baggage than I can handle. Flying is expensive these days, I don’t have the money to check that many bags, I’m a freelancer.
I’m sure I’ll be back. I’m still meeting people. But I needed a break, especially since it’s been decided that I’m Good Luck Chuck. No, seriously, it’s pretty awful. But I don’t have to sleep with the people for it to happen, just hang out with me if you’re a single friend/potential boyfriend and you’ll inevitably meet someone.
When is it my turn?
So the confusion, let me tell you about it. There are two guys that I’m currently talking to. One I’ve met, hung out with a few times, and he’s the impossible relationship. Too busy to date, not interested in a relationship...we’re in this no man’s land. No definition. Hang out, talk, meet each other’s friends...yeah. That’s it.
The guy behind door number two? I haven’t met him. We’ve talked online, we’ve been texting for over 2 weeks, and nothing. We’re even Facebook friends, and now we’re in another kind of no man’s land. I don’t want to keep texting and never meeting. But hey, it’s not like I have anything else going on, so what’s the harm with exchanging a few texts? Right?
What is it about impossible relationships? Why do I want what I can’t have?
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